The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
