Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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