Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
