I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
