I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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