I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found a bag of teeth...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
