Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
