plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
