Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
