If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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