He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
