So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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