Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
