I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
