Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
