She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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