Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
