Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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