haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize