We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
