i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
