Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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