OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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