would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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