he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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