my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
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Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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