i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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