You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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