sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
