she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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