dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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