Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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