its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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