his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
