the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
