You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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