Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
