Cold hands, warm shart.
Got a toothbrush?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
