I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
