then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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