but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
