Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
