sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
