More tranny stories later!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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