hell yes lets make some ravioli
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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