No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
