no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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