I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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