she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
