I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
