I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
