It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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