u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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