I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
