I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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