u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
