i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize