she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
