sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
