i think my mom watched the whole time
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
