My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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